Republican protest signs

Found a rather amusing site the other day of American Conservatives' protest signs, so I thought I'd mock a few of them further and share them with you all! Click on the images for a larger version:

I'm sorry but I do geography, and can confirm that too much CO2 is a pollutant. This is because of a variety of reasons I won't go into now. And besides, you wouldn't understand it anyway would you?


Also, socialism and fascism are diametrically opposed ideologies. Fascism is the furthest right of the political spectrum, socialism is left. Oh, and socialism is good...

Err... Again, fascism is on the right. You with the sign, are on the right. If you're going to suggest that Obama holds extreme political views, you could at least get the side right... I know the Nazis were called the National Socialists but were fascists, but they were tricky like that...

Actually, there's quite a big difference. The Oxford English Dictionary gives the meaning of 'journalist' as 'a person who writes for newspapers or magazines or prepares news to be broadcast on radio or television.' While a 'socialist' is defined as 'a person who advocates or practises socialism.' Socialism, for the record, is 'a political and economic theory of social organization which advocates that the means of production, distribution, and exchange should be owned or regulated by the community as a whole.' See? That doesn't seem so bad does it?

Yup. That's what you think it is. If there's ever a way to lose credibility faster than this then please, let me know...






I recommend the original site too, there are quite a lot of stupid signs on there with an equal number of amusing comments on them...
Well, that's all I've got for today. Come back soon for more idiot weeding!

Mad Men Season 1

Why are there no black people? It's as if this is set before
the success of the Civil Rights Movement...
Image: larryfire

Having recently started watching Mad Men, I decided to see what our old friends on Amazon made of the first season. I shouldn't have looked at the one star reviews really... I was just asking for trouble:

After seeing that this won an Emmy for best dramatic series, I decided to buy it. I hadn't seen it on TV, and watch most series on DVD. I got through 3 1/2 episodes, and, with nothing at all happening of any interest (This is not an action programme. It's more of a character study. I have a suspicion that you may have thought this programme was about a mad axe-murder or something) - aside from all the blatant attempts to constantly remind the viewer that it was 1960 (I know. They should have put some mobile phones and iPods in so that it could be more modern...) - I gave up. I don't see the point; the characters are cardboard cutouts (Well, characters such as Roger Sterling aren't really fleshed out till later. You can't complain about 2 dimensional characters when you haven't given the series enough time to really establish the supporting cast), the dialog is flat (I didn't think so. I know, to settle this we'll turn to the professionals. In 2008 Mad Men won an Emmy for Outstanding Writing in a Drama Series. It was nominated again in 2009. Then won for a second time in 2010. I think I win this one, eh?), the storyline, or what little there is, is uninteresting (Again, the characters are far more important than the storyline, which is, I'll grant you, slow). Others like it, and it's beyond me why. (No offence, but perhaps you're just too thick to get it? Oh wait, I did mean to offend)

Then there's this clueless reviewer from America:

This time we go back to the early 1960's and the Kennedy years where Hollywood attempts to replace our memories of a much more innocent, moral and gentler American with a dark degraded and dysfunctional culture (I'm sorry, but this version is actually true. The series has been praised repeatedly for being very accurate especially in regards to the sexism and racism of the time and the heavy drinking and smoking displayed by most characters). In this version all housewives are depressed and seeing shrinks (No, one housewife is depressed and seeing a shrink. That's quite far away from 'all'), all husbands cheat (Yes most do, but not all. Besides, the programme would be pretty dull if everyone in it was perfect), everybody drinks, smokes and slaps their kids around (Again. This is the sixties. What would you expect?). The critics like to call this show intelligent, they don't say why and I'm not sure either (It's because it doesn't patronise the viewer. It doesn't tell you everything, it lets you work many things out for yourself. I, and many others, find it quite refreshing). Maybe it's because of the liberal and gratuitous references to the holocaust and nazi's (which are completely out of place in a conference room in an advertising agency in the 1960's) (Not in context they weren't. On one occasion they were talking about how the German Volkswagen had gone to a Jewish ad agency. And on the other Draper was comparing something to the holocaust. Two incidents that make sense in context is hardly gratuitous or out of place). If you like shows that are anti-christian you'll like this (What? Where the fucking hell did you get this from?). After all if you write the script you control the content, right? (What does this mean? Are you suggesting that people who like this show wrote the script? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I would remember that. Seriously, what's this got to do with anything? Are you mad?)

I also like this paragraph from another review:

WHERE is the color? There was surely more to the 60's black experience than tending elevators or serving sandwiches to the man (Not in 1960 there wasn't. Why do you think Martin Luther King did so much campaigning? Because blacks were treated too fairly? This series is set in the upper echelons of an ad agency. Black people wouldn't have been able to get promoted that high. Read a book, moron). How brazenly backward for the writers and producers of Mad Men to blatantly ignore this pivotal point of cultural history. It makes me gag. (Perhaps this just isn't the focus of the show, did you think of that? The writers can write what ever they want to. It's their show. I imagine at some point in the future there will be a major black character. When it's historically accurate to do so. Perhaps you should stick to watching Forrest Gump)

Till next time gentle readers! 

Generation Kill Pt. 2

They ran to the toilet just after this picture was taken...
Image from The Telegraph

Here's what you've all been waiting for, the second part of Amazon.com's reviews of Generation Kill. First up to the plate we have this:

I am a big fan of HBO series and I was extremely disappointed in this one, I Just finished 24 years in the US ARMY as an Infantryman and this depiction of the Iraq war is a joke, from the less than realistic backdrops to the absurd tactics, not to mention the wooden performances of 98% of the actors (Yes. That's why it was nominated for Outstanding Casting at the Emmys. Because they gave such bad performances). After seeing this series I would be pretty upset if I were a Marine, because they are not even close as to how they are portrayed in this mess (If only several of the Marines depicted in the series were playing background characters. Oh wait. They do). If you want to see an outstanding HBO miniseries spend your money on "Band of Brothers" (You're not limited to one series per life, you know. People can watch both). Otherwise run far from this one (So if you don't watch Band of Brothers, you have to physically run away from this if you see it? That seems a little extreme to me). There is just too much anti-war (A war drama that's anti-war? They should be strung up! How dare they suggest that war is stupid?) stitched through the episodes that takes allot of the "wind out of its sails".

Now we have this expert:

Once again we see how every day that goes by we see how every generation becomes more ignorant (Actually, the population's IQ increases every generation. It's called natural selection), more out spoken about a lot of nothings nothing they know not (That sentence just makes no sense whatsoever). Just because they read it in the news paper or watch it on TV or online, it must be true right? (Actually, many of my generation are incredibly cynical about the media. Especially myself) 

I come from a long line of Marines from me joining after high school to my father being in Vietnam to my uncles in Korea and WWII. (Woo for you. Other Marines have said they found it very accurate. Including the Marines shown in the series)

Yes this series has a lot of truths, the vulgarity, profanity the racism, the over cellos Coos, combat senerios, to the rules of engagement.

From how Iraqis are welcoming you with open arms to then trying to kill you when your not looking. (Ah. Good old-fashioned racism)

As a Marine in my opinion this series has a lot of Anti-War (Yes. It does. Those liberal bastards), Anti-Bush BS! (It's not BS. It's the truth) You would think with the internet people would actually educate themselves, that's how Obama got elected! (Yes, voting for Obama is the stupid thing to do. Not voting for Bush, who is, let's not forget, regarded by historians as one of the worst Presidents of all time. And an idiot.)

This is War , war is dirty and war is nasty, but this series make us Marines look like a bunch of un organized morons. (Then why would they have Marines both in front of the camera and behind, making sure everything was accurate. Surely if it was so bad, they'd have had nothing to do with it? Or had the script changed?)

We as Marines are trained to kill, you can call it brain washing from boot camp but that's how it is. (Yes. And that's what they are shown to do. And you are kinda 'brain-washed'. There are lots of problems with how ex-soldiers aren't 'switched off' when they leave)  

Yes we do have a human side also. No one should be allowed to make movies or write books based on what they think war is, specially if they have never served and actually gone to war!! (The journalist who wrote the book was there. That's how he wrote it. In fact he was praised for putting himself in actual danger. He was in the lead Humvee much of the time and, at one stage, was given a gun to defend himself) 

This series is garbage! If your a part of the ignorant generation this series will fit you just fine.. (You, like the man last week, ought to stick to The Green Berets. The lies in there should please you. Now please fuck off and take your racist, ageist and old-fashioned views with you.) 

And bringing up the rear in this collection of reviews:

Sure the firefights and comraderie camaraderie is in here, but the one UNDERLINING UNDERLYING, SUBLIMINAL point it makes in each episode is the wontan wanton killing of civilians and collateral damage the US military does in Iraq (Not really. It's merely one factor of the series). The sheer joy and amusement of the military at the destruction it is causing is harpped on, and on (Apparently the Marines stigmatize a soldier who kills a civilian, so they're hardly amused by the destruction). I saw the whole serise series (except the last episode) (So not the whole series then) and the writers also just love to show men defacating and urinating and shooting civiliand civilians, women, children, structures, etc.; as long as they're showing guns spitting spent shells and having that cool sound of M-16/M14 goin going off. (That's not a complete sentence. The part after the semi-colon doesn't really have a conclusion, it just ends)

I also read the book and it seems the author was also fully engrossed in only recording the civilina civilian casualties. Each time they came in contact with the enemy, woemen women and children were the only ones that got paragraphs and paragraphs of details. (Perhaps this is because details such as these are the most likely to gain an emotional response from the reader. Would you rather he had swept the civilian casualties under the carpet? Actually, I imagine you probably would. Because you don't care about the truth. Just as long as your views remain unchallenged, you'll be happy)

Oh and there were Syrians Syrian and Iraqi jihadists that got killed also, but you get a sentance sentence and then on to the chilren and innocents getting shredded left and right. It did happen, I read it on in "One Bullet Away" by Nate Fick, the guy featered featured in Gen. Kill the book and tv series, but come on, give the guys some credit. (If you know it happened, then what is the problem? The fact that the creators didn't shy away from showing civilian casualties should be rewarded, not punished)  By the way, "One Bullet Away" is a waaaay better book than Gen. Kill. The Gen. Kill authore author just likes to let you know how many times men in war go use the bathroom. He also details it over and over and over. We know guys out there don't have nice restrooms or private bathrooms, okay. It goes without saying. But to write about it over and over... The tv series also likes this aspect of the tale. You get to see guys' butts alomst every 15 minutes (Oh the horror! Is there something your not telling us?). You sure don't see that on Platoon by Oliver Stone, or even implied on Tour of Duty(the '80s tv series). (Well, wouldn't it be boring if every war film/series was the same?)
The brutality of war is shown, but mostly how it affects women and children in the line of fire. (These are some of the facts of war) The real bad guys don't get much time in the book or the tv series. In no way does this compare to Saving Priveate Private Ryan and Band of Brothers. Those movies/series were about the heart of the US military, not the heartless ones they are portrayed here. (They're totally different wars. They shouldn't be being compared on such merits anyway)

I for one will not be buying it on DVD (I'm sure David Simon et al will be utterly devastated, we'd better put them all on suicide watch or something...), nor do I recommend anyone else to do so either. Unless you like to see the killing of innocents by our incompetent military(which is what the book and series paint our miltary to be) (Sorry, but they can be incompetent. Look at the continued violence in Iraq and Afghanistan for example). I did 12 yrs in the US Navy so I know a little about military comraderie camaraderie (And nothing about the infantry's war). It's shown here, but in a deceitful context.

It's not all bad though, some of the comments (often from Marines) hate these reviews even more than I do. Look them up. Also, I realise that this post is long and unwieldy, exactly what I was trying to avoid, but I was an idiot and managed to collect all the long ones together. I'm sorry. I'll try harder next time.

Anthology of Idiocy I

I have decided to collect a number of stupid reviews that are too short to warrant a post of their own. First up is this review for Once Upon A Time in America:

This film is spectacular and deserves 5*, but it is 'far too long' for my tasting, 3 hours and over 40 minutes had passed whilst i gazed mindlessley at the telebox.
Excellent film. Then why did you give the film one star you flower-pot brained imbecile? Surely if the film was excellent in every way but the length, 3 stars would have been suitable? It says on the back of the box how long it is. Surely you could have looked at the runtime before purchasing and decided that nearly 4 hours was too long for you to sit on your arse and skipped the whole thing altogether. I recommend you watch Un Chien Andalou, it's only 15 minutes. I'm sure you could handle that.

I'm sorry. I'm calm again. Now stepping up to the plate we have this enlightening critique of Serenity:

I saw Serenity twice on ITV4, and I still can't decide if I liked it or not. The characters weren't that well defined; the story was lacking; the script was clumsy, and as for Mal's annunciation of words, I could barely understand a word he said half the time (it was definitely a problem with him, since I could understand the other characters just fine). Having said all that I've put it in my basket because I'm willing to give it another chance. I just don't think it's as good as some think it is...maybe that's because I never saw Firefly. Let me get this straight. You watched Serenity on TV, liked it enough to watch it again and now you are planning on buying it. So you give it one star? In what way does that make sense to you?

Is stupidity catching? Last up from this first edition of Anthology of Stupidity we have a review from our cousins across the pond for Red Dead Redemption:

this game is a gross attack on christianity! (No it isn't, you paranoid fool) at the very first cut scene a poor illiterate minister who is bigoted against the "savages." (Have you ever heard of missionaries? That's what most of them were like) then you rescue a clueless christian girl in the desert believing her faith will save her. add to that the gross language (Those cunts), the x-rated "movies" (You don't have to watch them you know) and well, rockstar deserves their Mature rating (Yes they do. As that is what they were aiming for). it also deserves this one star. And you deserve my complete and utter contempt. If you disapprove of so much of the content in Mature rated games, why do you buy them? They are rated Mature not as a punishment, but because they are aiming for a more mature (There's a reason for the rating's title) audience. If you're not grown-up enough to deal with such content then stick to Pokemon. Then again, you might find animals not present in the Bible blasphemous...

Generation Kill Pt.1

Look at them, glorifying war. Probably looking for the
propaganda machine... Image TV Guide

Are we all ready for another healthy dose of my unadulterated anger? Well tough, you're getting it anyway. Now, I'll admit that I haven't got around to watching HBO's Generation Kill yet, but I'm in good company - neither has this reviewer:

The trailer is enough to see that this is yet more glorification of those brainwashed by the controllers to murder innocent people in the name of oil and the sickening spread of consumerism and mindless capitalism. Well praise the lord and god bless such brave souls hey. peace is nothing more than an interval bewteen wars as long as we continue to follow the propaganda machines You're reviewing a 7 hour TV series on the basis of a 90 second trailer. I'll say that again. 7 hour series. 90 second trailer. Are you fucking nuts? Unsurprisingly, you're 'review' does not improve. As I said, I haven't seen the series, but I've heard enough about it to know that it is not 'glorifying' the Iraq war. The series was based on an actual journalists actual experiences during the early days of the Iraq War. It's meant to show what it was really like. And, by all accounts, it does that pretty well. The one thing I've heard (from more reliable sources, though I concede that that would not be terribly difficult) this series does not do is glorify the war. Would you be so kind as to never review anything ever again. And for the future of the human race, please don't have children.

 I have trekked all the way to America (well, I had to type Amazon.com into google, so almost the same thing...) to bring you the following, beautiful pieces. Now we have another person living in cloud-cuckooland where the most offensive word people say is dam (no, I did not miss out the 'n', I meant 'dam' as in Hoover Dam):

The language is repulsive. I pray that our soldiers do not think/behave this way. Of course they do. Most of the modern world thinks/behaves this way. These soldiers put their lives on the line, I think they're allowed to curse a little. Perhaps you'd better stick to The Green Berets in future...

Lastly, would anyone like a right wing, Republican nutjob? I do spoil you so:

When viewing, factor in that Evan Wright is a * journalist * for the the left-wing radical, hate-filled "Rolling Stone". I don't think I really need to add anything here, do I?

I wish all these reviews were so easy...

There are more reviews from America on this series declaring it 'unpatriotic' and 'anti-war' (this is suggested as a bad thing, just to be clear), but so as not to make this post as long and unwieldy as this sentence, I will post the rest of these next week. I know you'll be waiting on the edge of your seats with bated breath...