Anthology of Idiocy V

Yes friends, no long wait this time as I'm back with Anthology of Idiocy Episode V: The Idiots Strike Back (I'm fast running out of film series that go up this high...).

We open up today's account with a review from amazon.com for the classic 1931 version of Frankenstein:

I was delighted to receive the video in the mail today (Haha! You people in the past with your old fashioned technology!). What timing! My class of high school seniors has finished reading Mary Shelley's novel and will be taking their final tomorrow. Afterwards, I thought they would really enjoy the film. Unfortunately, I just finished viewing it and am sick (Was it something you ate?). This adaptation is nothing like the book (Well no. Lots of films aren't like the book. That doesn't stop this film being a stone-cold classic horror film). I am scrambling around looking for one that is! (I understand from someone who's studied English that the book isn't that good anyway to be honest...) I honestly feel I have wasted $... (You haven't. It's an excellent movie)---and on my miserable salary that's painful! The acting, sets, script, camera work, and editing are ridiculously crude (Well it was 1931. What were you expecting? Sleek production on an Avatar scale?). I wish I had saved my money and spent it elsewhere! (Please, stop teaching people...)

Told you it was a poster...
Image via unrealityshout

Next up, following on from my previous post dedicated to House season 1, we have this review for House season 7:

At first glance, House seems like just another banal sitcom (It's not a fucking sitcom! Do you Americans even know what a sitcom is?. This is a bloody drama).  masquerading as something more "smart" and/or "sexy," which is true (Oh, if you say so Your Highness...)--but look a bit deeper and you'll see its success rides on the fact it's a love letter to generation Y detachment and forced irony; bittersweet emotional pornography for those whose lives have failed them. (What the fuck is any of this about? Did you read that other guy's review for season 1 and think 'Wow. That's a good review. I'll do one like that. Using his idiotic opinions'?)

Just look at the DVD cover (Actually that's a poster). "Love sucks." Cue a thousand soul-numbingly boring housewives nodding their heads with a knowing "MMMM-hmmmm." (I hate you.) These producers really know their audience, I'll give them that. (They also know how to make a damn good show.)

And bringing up the rear we have this review for the excellent video game Fallout 3:

Ok,yes,the game was good,but,come on,this has been done...........11 times,i mean,talk about"Copy-Paste"!!! (When? When has this been done before? If you're referring to someone journeying through a post-apocalyptic Earth then yes, I suppose it has been done before. But then, if you only take the setting of something into account then nothing new has been released in centuries...)
Its nothing new,and i just think its one of the copying ones (Just mention something it's copying and then perhaps you'll have a reasonable argument),here is the Good-Bad list 

Good 
1:Its a free roaming game,to do whatever you want to do (Yes that is good)
2:You make up your own mind (About what?)

Bad 
1:Detail:The monsters are 80's crap (No they're not. They're actually pretty sensible, plausible mutations of current animals)
2:Creativity:Its all been done before (And i can't stress that enough) (Yet you haen't mentioned anything that it is similar to...)
3:I could go on for hours :P (And yet you haven't. Let's face it, you can only think of two bad points can't you... And where is a review of the gameplay? Or the graphics? Or anything else game-related?)

That's you're lot for this month. I just know you're looking forward to the next Anthology of Idiocy, but you'll just have to be patient I'm afraid...

House Season 1

Now that's my kind of poster...

One of the best TV shows to come out of the American networks over the last few years has been the Hugh Laurie-starring House. Having been nominated for over 100 awards, and winning 34, including the Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series and Outsanding Directing for a Drama Series Emmys in 2005 and 2008 respectively. Hugh Laurie has also claimed the Best Actor award at the Golden Globes twice, in 2006 and 2007 and been nominated ever since. These chumps, however, seem impervious to the cantankerous doctor's charms:

Maybe I'm missing the gene enabling me to enjoy this show, but frankly I find it dull (But he makes fun of people! How is that not cool?). Given the reviews and recommendations I tried watching through 3 episodes from the first series (The series really kicks off after that third episode. Like many series come to think of it. I find that episode 4 is one of the best of this first season, where he has to make decisions that affect the survival of babies). 

It struck me I couldn't on reflection recall when one ended and another started (The credits?). The characters were forgettable (Again, the patients get more interesting as the season progresses) and the plots far fetched to say the least (They're not that farfetched. The problems are real, it's just unlikely that there would be so many in one hospital). The most significant failing however seems to be the same formula that is used for each episode (What? Sick person comes in, the team fail to diagnose, then with 5 minutes left they find the answer? How is that different to, say, a police show or pretty much any other programme? The joy comes from the development of the characters and the journeys they take). Even after watching a few it was painfully obvious what was going to happen thereafter and I couldn't stomach watching anymore. (It's currently in its seventh season, I bet you can't tell me the overall storyline of those seasons, let alone the personal journeys of each character.)

Shame really, I quite like Hugh Laurie otherwise. (Who doesn't?)

Like I said, I'm sure others will love it (We do). For me this falls into the same bin (Your loss) as that other unfathomably popular tripe - Lost. (Well, I'm no big fan of Lost either, but it isn't a bad show.) 

Sadly, he wasn't alone. Here's another, this time from America:

this show's success is a testament to how madly in love our generation is with its own perceived sense of irony and cynicism (Maybe some people, such as myself, are cynical [hence, for example, the dwindling numbers of churchgoers]? And I fail to see what irony has to do with anything...), which is actually only a step up from garfield coffee mugs with "funny" text about mondays. a formulaic, glorified sitcom fuelled by pathetic, masturbatory projection. (Are you upset that some programme of yours wasn't picked up or something? Only that could adequately explain the hostility shown here... And by the way, you're half-arsed psychology is not a review. And, finally, this isn't a sitcom by any stretch of the imagination. It's a drama)

And here's one more eejit:

I can't understand how my wife can watch this show week after week (Beacuse she has better taste than you?). But to think that people would actually pay money to watch this knucklehead over and over again is just beyond me (I imagine lots of things will be beyond you then...). How can anybody stand to watch this guy? (Because he's amusing, flawed and a downright interesting character) He's a total scumbag analhead (Two things. 1, 'analhead'? What the hell?. And 2, that's kind of the point...). When my wife puts this on I go out to the garage to smoke and play my guitar (Don't you know smoking will ruin your sense of taste?). This show is bottom of the barrel entertainment. (Yes. That'll be why so many critics love it, and have given it so may awards...)

Who would want to be treated by this guy? (Someone who doesn't care about bedside manner, but does want to live?) I don't care if he does have all the answers. If I was his patient I'd smack him across the mouth and leave (And then you'd die. And then I'd laugh.). Bust that cane over his head too. (You'd beat a cripple with his own cane? Who are you to judge any other man's actions?)

And on that bombshell, I must end for today.