Sex and the City 2

Look at those bourgeois, consumerist stereotypes...

Sex and the City 2. I watched this last night out of morbid fascination having heard critic Mark Kermode's 10 minute rant about it earlier (check it out a bit further down). So my expectations were pretty low. Even then, they weren't low enough... These morons from amazon.co.uk believe it was a good film. They couldn't be more wrong:

I wasn't expecting to enjoy this as I had heard bad reviews and as an avid fan of the series and the first film I was expecting to be disappointed (My only hope is that you thought it was going to be so bad that it would make your vagina explode, and the fact that it didn't tricked you into thinking it was good.). Admittedly it is not quite as sharp as the first film (Which was also, though I can't confirm it myself, a bad film), but overall it has not let me down (I fear this says more about you than the film), it is a progression to where they are now...and everything that goes with it (That should be the end of the sentence, and why the fuck is the ellipsis there?) charlotte, as perfect as she would like her world to be, is struggling as the perfect wife & mother (I'm guessing this is the dark haired one [I didn't care enough to learn her name], in which case she has a full-time, live-in nanny. Why should we feel sorry for her if she still can't cope?).. miranda, finally realises that work isn't everything or she can find a job that allows her to be herself (But is so rich that losing a job, really doesn't matter. Again, why should I give a flying fuck?).. carrie and her life with mr big is not everything she thought it would be (Yup. He bought her a TV instead of jewellery and wants to spend quality time with her, not going out to movie premieres), but she finally has the man she has always loved, and the way they handled carrie's kiss with Aidan shows how they have grown up (But not gained any depth whatsoever)... and samantha, doing everything she can to slow down the aging process and is as feisty as ever (As well as one-dimensional [at least the others have two dimensions...], stereotypical and both racially and culturally insensitive) ... the only thing I will say is no SATC 3 (We're in agreement there at least), that would kill it, there is nothing more to give.......... (What has the world done to deserve this film? Oh yeah, the rampant consumerism and celebration of shallow ambitions...)

Here's another positive review for this vomit-inducing movie:

I am a big Sex and the City fan - like most I have all the boxsets. I was really unsure whether to see this movie - I listened to all the negative press and let that put me off. (Then why did you break? I'll never get that 146 minutes back. I shall remember them on my deathbed with nothing other than regret. Regret and fury towards everyone who had a hand in making this pile of excrement)
Thankfully a few of my work colleagues went and said they loved it so I decided to go and see for myself and I'm glad that I did (You and your friends then, I can safely assume, are vacuous and shallow and are what is wrong with the world). I really don't know what everyone is moaning about - this is just another example of the girls doing what they do best! (No it isn't! Girls can do anything men can do. All the women in this just lay about moaning about how tough their lives are, buying shoes and wearing lots of clothes. This is the most sexist film I've ever seen. This is not the best they can do.)
I think we may have been spoilt slighty by the ending of the last series and the first film - both were written as though they could be the final chapter - therefore making sure they tied up any loose ends (As Kermode points out, any TV series film that relies on going on holiday to carry it, has run out of ideas.). Alot of people have said there was no point to the girls going abroad - but in the series was there any point in Carrie staying at Aidan's log cabin in the middle of nowhere? or Samantha using Richard's house in the Hamptons? (That doesn't make their pointless trip to Abu Dhabi any less pointless.)
If you are a true Sex and the city fan you will love the film because it is another chance to see the girls that we know and love (I am reliably informed that even most lovers of the show point out that it has become a parody of itself) plus Samantha is hilarious (No she isn't. She's disturbing and unfunny. Like the whole film really...) - she had me laughing out loud like a crazy person at the cinema! (You are crazy if you thought this film was good.)
Don't let the negative comments put you off seeing this film! (Oh please let them! I beg you! I don't want anyone else to have to suffer through that horrid thing.)

Here's one more, though I feel I may return to this topic in the not-so-distant future:

I give this five stars because it's fun and the negative reaction to it has been so overwhelmingly stupid there needs to be balance. (No it hasn't and there is no need for balance. The arguments against it have been well reasoned and grounded. You are a fool.)

This is really a silly comedy (Except it isn't funny. Like at all. I smiled once. That's it.). If you love the girls from the series and first film you will have fun. But you can't take it too seriously. (Or at all seriously. But even then, it's still shit.)

There's no deep problems anyone is having (I'll say...) like in the first flick. This time around it's minor issues (Understatement of the year?). Some overly dramatic reactions (Like crying because your nanny popped out for a few minutes and your 2 children are being children...). Some pointed looks at how women are treated in other countries. (Except done badly, in a really offensive caricatured way...)

Many were offended at the lavishness but in the story if you pay attention, the trip they go on is a gift (So? They still can't see the inequality between themselves and their dogsbodies. And Carrie has two huge apartments! In the middle of New York! How is that not lavish?). They aren't spending (Much of what they buy is their own. The clothes and shoes for instance). They are reacting like how we would react in this situation. "OMG. This is amazing" kind of thing. (Except they don't. They act like this is their usual way of living)

When I went to the theater to see it with 13 friends, we all liked or loved it (Well, you're all stupid.). SO don't let the misogyny that's behind many of the reviews turn you off. (The reviews are not misogynist you amoeba brained imbecile. The reviews point out the misogyny in the film. The film is misogynistic in its portrayal of women as being obsessed with clothes, shoes, being thin and young, and their self-obsessed, narcissistic dreams of marriage etc.)

I liked it but hope this is not the end. Would rather go out on a better note. (If you only liked it then surely 4 stars would be more appropriate? And if there is another one then there truly is no hope for this world, and we should just let ourselves go extinct.)

Some might say that extinction of the species is worse than a sequel, but they either haven't seen SATC2, or should be locked away in a padded cell.

Here's Mark Kermode's review for BBC Radio 5Live, as promised: