USB is the Devil's work!

Image via bobolhando

Apparently (at time of writing this story has not yet been confirmed) a religious sect in Brazil has banned its members from using USB devices because it looks like the Devil's trident. Here's the original story (translated from Portuguese) care of The Guardian:

The evangelical cult "Paz do Senhor Amado" ("Peace of the beloved Lord") in the interior of Brazil forbids its followers to use any USB technology by contending that it uses a symbol that shows sympathy for the devil.

According to its founder, the "Apostle" Welder Saldanha says that this is just another symbol of Satan, which is always present in all Christian homes.

"The symbol of that name (a name which he doesn't even like to pronounce) is a trident, which is used to torture souls that go to hell. Use only a symbol of those shows that all users of that vile technology are actually worshipers of Satan" - explains the" Apostle".

Measures were taken so that all the USB connections of his followers were exchanged for common connections and even the Bluetooth (sic), which according to Saldanha Welder is permitted, for "Blue was the color of the eyes of our savior Jesus Christ". (I hate to break this to you, but Jesus almost certainly did not have blue eyes. He was not a European, he was a Middle-Eastern Jew. As a result he was most probably relatively dark skinned with dark hair and brown eyes. The fair-haired, blue eyed Jesus is a European creation from around the 19th Century, mostly as a result of the resurgent anti-Semitic feeling in the West at the time.)

If there is a God who will punish all those who use USB devices, then all seven of you firewire users are sitting pretty right now! Also, if Satan's trident really does look like the USB symbol then he should really get a new blacksmith and his money back, because only one of those prongs is actually going to hurt...

And if (as I sadly suspect it to be, in all honesty) this is a hoax then I have successfully weeded out an idiot at The Guardian, for reprinting it without bothering to check its authenticity. It's a win-win situation for me!