Movieguide and The Kids Are Alright

Look at those horrible lesbians...
image via wikipedia

Now, I'll admit straight that I haven't yet seen The Kids Are Alright, an independent movie that was up there with the big-hitters of The King's Speech and The Social Network during the awards season. However, since this doesn't concern the quality of the film so much as its content I think I'll get away with it. I'll let Movieguide provide the summary:

THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT is a despicable, explicit, obscene movie about a lesbian couple with two teenage children who are torn apart when one of the women suddenly begins a torrid affair with the biological father who donated his sperm. THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT contains abundant foul language and explicit, depicted sex scenes and nudity combined with a humanist, homosexual worldview that makes for an abhorrent movie.

It's nice that they're looking at the film objectively, on its own merits though isn't it?
Movieguide traditionally devotes a paragraph at the start of the review covering the moral (according to their, err... nutjob... beliefs) aspects of the movie. Here is that paragraph, in full, with comments from your guide to this horrible homophobic world (that would be me, incidentally):

(HHH, HoHoHo, PCPCPC, FeFeFe, C, LLL, V, SSS, NN, AA, DD, MMM) (I imagine that those are codes for something...) Very strong humanist, pro-homosexual, politically correct, (How evil all those things are! What about the children?!) confused feminist worldview about a lesbian woman who cheats on her “partner” with the sperm donor of their two children (She is her partner. Not her "partner". Get over it.), with some redemptive focus on forgiveness after sins are exposed; about 50 obscenities (including many “f” words), two strong profanities and 16 light profanities; some brief violence includes a slap and a man throws his motorcycle helmet in disgust at himself (Oh the horror! Won't somebody please think of the children? Who knows what damage seeing a man throw his helmet will do to those young minds!); very strong sexual content includes lesbians watching explicit male homosexual pornography (I like the way that you feel the need to mention that it is homosexual porn as if its somehow worse...), plus explicit scenes of depicted fornication and sodomy (Not fornication! You sound like Miriam Margolyes in that episode of Blackadder II...), and lesbian gives a confusing answer to her son’s question of why she and his other “mother” watch porn movies about male homosexuals (Leave the homosexual porn alone already! I fear someone may have a complex...); images of upper female nudity (Oh no!), rear male nudity (Oh the children!) and upper male nudity (You know, Jesus is almost always depicted with no top on too...); alcohol use and drunkenness; smoking and teenage friend of a main teenage character snorts cocaine with him; and, cheating, vandalism, teenager tries dangerous skateboard stunt, lying, spying, landscape designer unfairly dismisses an employee, teenage rebellion, daughter talks back to one lesbian “mother,” and no solid moral compass or foundation. (What about the Nic, or Jules at the end? Oh, wait, they're lesbians. How can they possibly be good compasses...)

Here are a few choice quotations from the main body of the review, again with the odd comment from myself, but mostly I'll just let their own hatefulness speak for itself:

THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT is a despicable, crude, obscene example of the moral perversion running rampant in today’s godless secular humanist society and in the homosexual “community.” As such, it also shows the complete breakdown of morality among most, if not all, liberals and leftists, especially among those who promote homosexual and “transgender” behavior, including the approval and promotion of such evil perversion among the world’s children.  (What 'evil perversion'? The idea that homosexual relationships are normal, and nothing to be afraid of? Because that isn't evil. It's quite the opposite in fact.)

                                                                                                                     

The main message of this movie, which includes very strong explicit sex scenes and abundant obscene language and doesn’t make much sense (Then why do [and I can't stress this next word enough] real critics think it does?), is that homosexual couples and families have problems just like traditional heterosexual ones, but that, like traditional families, love, forgiveness and family bonds can overcome those problems (You've taken in it's point surprisingly well, actually...). This is probably what a licentious, lamebrain, loony leftist will see (Ah. One step forward, two steps back...). A media-wise person, however, will discover an obnoxious, obscene movie with unappealing, confused characters (Ha! Media-wise my arse. Brainwashed by Fox News more like). He or she also probably will note that this movie proves that homosexual couples who have children are indeed perverted, damaged, misguided people who lack the moral sense that comes when people accept a biblical worldview, turn away from sin, and continually seek refuge, redemption and salvation in God through Jesus Christ. (Look you twisted, evil person. You have seen in this film what you want to see. The fact that there are hundreds of movies, TV shows and books that depict actual cases of heterosexual affairs has, I notice, completely been missed from this 'review'. Instead you focus on this fictional depiction of a homosexual person being unfaithful as proof of your prejudices. Are you suggesting that no heterosexual christian man or woman has ever been unfaithful? Because that is bullshit of galactic proportions. I also note that you completely skip over the whole homosexual couples are just the same as heterosexual couples bit. Oh, and I think you'll find that you're ever-so-perfect 'biblical worldview' is a mish-mash of old ideas that have been a part of human society since the inception of humanity, and therefore not exclusive to those who believe in the existence of a supernatural being that created all life, and pieces stolen from various other religions with the bits you don't like left out. Morality was created by evolution to keep unhelpful practices [such as interbreeding] at a minimum as well as keeping the large group of proto-humans functioning as a whole, and thus are not solely the preserve of Christians. Morals were around a long time before Christianity and will be around a long time after Christianity has left the Earth except in a few madmen that nobody takes seriously. And hating homosexuals, or anyone else different to you for that matter, is not moral. It is immoral, and something that would have been driven out long ago had religion been overthrown centuries ago. Oh, just one last thing. There is no God. And in the immortal words of Robert Pirsig: "when one person suffers from a delusion it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion." (Lila: An Inquiry into Morals, 1991)

Of course, the characters in THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT do none of these things. Also, the movie itself contains enough extremely explicit, obscene content that it will turn off any viewer who doesn’t share its leftist, liberal, homosexual worldview. THE KIDS ARE ALL RIGHT is made by radical liberals/leftists for radical liberals/leftists, the kind of liberal/leftist who sees nothing wrong in exposing people to lots of strong foul language and explicit sex scenes with nudity. Its existence, and its reported acclaim at Robert Redford’s Sundance Film Festival, proves that the pro-homosexual liberal/leftist agenda has become morally bankrupt, artistically vapid and intellectually repulsive. (Not nearly as repulsive as you.)

Hmm... Kind of lost my rag a bit there didn't I...