Thursday, 30 September 2010

Iron Man

In what way is this man Arabic?
Answers on a postcard please
Image via comcvine
Iron Man was one of the biggest films of 2008 and has grossed a total of over $585 million. These reviewers seem to be unsure why:
I decided to watch this film based on the strength of the trailers (as did everyone else!). However, I was sorely disappointed, because the film did not concentrate on the real story and also greatly embellished in many aspects. (You know it wasn't based on historical events don't you?)
Firstly, in the original comic series, Tony Stark was hurt due to an act of industrial sabotage by one of his competitors and not because of some Arabs purchasing his weapons and using them against him (which is complete tosh!). (Not in the origin according to Wikipedia it isn't. The only difference between the two is that in the comics it was a Vietnamese booby trap. All the film did was bring it up to date. Something the comics have also done since his debut.)
Secondly, the real story was two-fold. It lay with the building of the suit (which surprisingly, the film did pay some attention to, although inadequately). (Well, it's a film. It has time restraints. Yes, they could have made it six hours long to go into greater depth to satisfy you, but I think most people would just get bored)
Thirdly, the main chunk of the story (the real twist), lay with Obadiah Staine, who tried to murder his boss (Tony Stark) and then tried to steal the company from him. In fact, Obadiah tried to murder his boss not once, but TWICE!! (Yes. This happens in the film. I have to ask, are you sure you were watching the right film?). Please note, Obadiah Staine is an American white guy. He is not an Arab! (He's an American white guy in the film as well. He's played by fucking Jeff Bridges! He's incredibly American [in a good way]. Do you think everyone who has a beard is an Arab? Brian Blessed has a great big bushy beard. Is he Arabic?). Unfortunately, the film paid very little attention to this twist and instead focused on demonising Arabs. (Actually many of the 'Arab terrorists' weren't Arabs. Yinsen says there are many different languages in the terrorist camp, such as Hungarian and Russian. Now, I may be wrong here, but I'd say that the majority of Hungarian speakers probably come from Hungary. This would suggest that this is just a collection of various terrorists from around the globe, presumably to prevent any possible 'demonising of Arabs')
Overall, the film relied heavily on CGI but did not focus on story line. This is now the trend with films (Not all films. Many of the summer blockbusters lack story [*cough* Transformers *cough*]. But I felt this film had more than some others, though not as much as the recent Inception obviously). The film also has another (less endearing) agenda and again this is a common trend, which is becoming more prevalent. How unfortunate. (What less endearing agenda? The 'demonising Arabs' bit I shot down earlier. There are terrorists in Afghanistan, a section of the film is set in Afghanistan that involves terrorists. The film does not suggest that everyone in that part of the world is a terrorist, in fact Yinsen was an Arab and he was most definitely 'good'. Do you not think you're being a little paranoid?) 
I found only two good aspects to this film. The CGI and Robert Downey jr. He portrayed himself very well as Tony Stark, as an arrogant, womanising, gold digging, imperialist (Well at least we agree on something, I suppose). This is why this film deserves only 1 star. (Except this isn't really a review is it? It's mostly just you being upset at the existence of Arabian terrorists in movieland...)
Now we have this extract:

There's a point about 30 minutes into "Iron Man" that you think it is about to get better - he's stuck in a cave in Afganistan secretly building his first iron suit (this is after half an hour of pretentious back chat and pointlessness). I think you'll find that the 'pretentious back chat and pointlessness' had a very important point. It illustrated how uncaring Tony Stark was before his kidnap, thus making his redemption following his release mean more to the viewer. If it hadn't been for that, no-one would have known that he'd changed would they? Idiot, consider yourself weeded.
And, hot-diggity, here's another review!:

 Hated it, hated it! Robert Downey Jnr. can't act and he's pant as Ironman! (Yes. RDJ can't act. That's why he got those Oscar nominations.) 
I turned it off after 16 mins with an hour and 44 mins to go. Yes, it was that bad! (Then how can you review it? Oh. Wait. I've got it. This isn't an actual review. That's how...) 
Don't recommend it unless you like Ironman. I don't like Ironman, Spiderman I like it. Those films were good, this film was terrible! (Please don't tell me you liked Spiderman 3. It's a pathetic excuse for a film. Also, for the record, Iron Man is so far above Spiderman that the Parker couldn't read 'Suck it Spiderman' if it was written on Stark's Iron boot. If I wanted whiny teen angst I'd watch Twilight instead.)

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